patientlights:

I get really offended when my mom underestimates my ability to eat a whole pizza by myself.

(via hannahmotana)

multipack:

mom can i borrow $100,000 please i’ll give u it back when im rich and famous

(Source: perksofbeing-a-cauliflower, via hannahmotana)

cooldudebro:

when the pictures in the cook book look too good

image

(via punkmonksteven)

dialupmodem:

frillyknickersxo:

vspanther:

shrimpfur:

Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them

"suck my dick" ok

“bite me” hell yeah

"kiss my ass" sure

"Fuck you" well if you insist.

"my mother was right about you, you’re pathetic, you’ve got no job, and you’ve got no future" if you insist

(via punkmonksteven)

moonkistprincess:

"i was born in the wrong generation" i say as i steal my grandkids hoverboards because fuck you i was promised these years ago

(Source: hallowseveprincess, via hannahmotana)

lubricates:

date me its for a school project 

(via mentallyfuckingonedirection)

scrlett:

no offense but my favorite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful 

(via hannahmotana)